She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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