another moral hangover. fuck.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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