Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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