Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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