I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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