She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you had me at cake vodka
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
God, I missed his penis.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
