You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I need to align my fucking chakras
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
