dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
