i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize