Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
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just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
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I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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