Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
