Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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