Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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