I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
