Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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