Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
