Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
