I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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