he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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