Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
