ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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