nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Randomize
