I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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