I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
