I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
