If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
