Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
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