How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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