no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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