u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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