bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
