Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
