im drinking this country out of the recession.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
