just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
