Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
