New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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