Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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