apparently the secret to your success is patron
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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