and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So many bounce houses so little time
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize