this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
