Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
