I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
