I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it penis luge time yet?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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