If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
