I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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