I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
