ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
