i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize