Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
