Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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