You really coming over, don't trick.
D3 body, D1 cock
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
