My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
