We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize