I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize