the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
