I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
