I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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