i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My feet surprised me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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