I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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