Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
