are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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